Well it's almost time for the great charade to take place! In a throwback to the Berlin Games and the Cold War -China will be showing what a marvellous country it is and indoctrinated Brits will be staying up all night ,basking in the glory of winning diddly squat!
The yanks will be trying to show how marvellous they are too........only half of their team aren't actually American by birth and i heard that their 4 best table tennis players are in fact-CHINESE!!!
The bbc has sent all its staff to Beijing and has been advertising the games since its inception!
Tianenmen Square looks lovely with its flower displays and the residue of human remains from when the tanks crushed people to death in their tents has been washed away.
The opening ceremoney will be boring and so will the closing version and then we will be running headlong into the build up for the Banana republic games in 2012.
During the bit in the middle Sue Barker will gush (something Lloydy couldn't get her to do) -Brendan will be talking about the 'kross kuntry' and Gordon Brown will give a pep talk to the uk team thus condemning them to coming last in everything except flower arranging and gurning!
Talking of Gurning it seems that Gordon Brown must have phoned Paula Ratcliffe to wish her well as she now has a fractured leg!!!!
Cant wait till it finishes and we move on to London where the new sport of chasing rats and cockroaches out of hospitals and dance marathons will show the rest of the globe what a marvellous multi-cultural shining beacon of democracy we live in.
Lets face it-with 60 million cameras everywhere the tv coverage should be good!
Assuming we can still afford electricity!
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